How I'm doing-
I would say I'm doing just fine-
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind-
If you ask me how I'm doing-You would know that is not true. My heart is heavy, it always is. Some days more than others but-I'm never fine, sometimes-it's just easier-to say, "I'm just fine. "
If you ask me how I'm doing-I'm never too sure how to answer your question. Are you asking me, "How are you doing?" or are you asking me,"How are you doing?" There's a difference you know.
If you ask me how I'm feeling-I would honestly tell you that I don't think I know. I look "okay" on the outside but I am slowly unraveling on the inside - I miss her, I wish I could smell her, I wish I could touch her, I wish I knew her, I wish so badly she was here.
If you ask me how I'm feeling-I would tell you that I am angry. I am so tired of listening to people complain about things that are meaningless. If their life was changed in an instant do you think they would really care about those things? They would quickly realize those things were just that - totally meaningless.
If you ask me-"Are you going to try again?" Please accept my apology now, that question leaves me speechless every time. There are only a select few I have honestly told-We can't...
If you ask me-the details of that one, you won't get too far. It was hard enough for me to be truthful. I long for another baby so bad it hurts. Sometimes I am angry at the women who go on and have their "rainbow" baby. Please don't ever take that for granted, some of us can't. It's huge to accept. We were clearly advised, "No way, No how." That one is still sinking in.
If you ask me- I'll tell you that not a moment goes by that I am not thankful. Thankful for the life I live everyday.