Anticipating when you were going to slowly creep back in and settle for a while. You came out of nowhere, just like I expected.
The grief, the anguish & the realness of her loss. Lily's birthday is in just 3 weeks. I was wondering when it would knock me down and why it hadn't already.
I should have known it would come this way - out of nowhere, like it always does.
So intense, so heavy, so real. Everything is making me cry, my heart aches without her. My husband can feel when it hits me before the tears even flow. I know how much he feels it too.
The last two days at work in the NICU were pure hell. You could feel it all around us. The air is different in the NICU when a baby is passing away. Each and every one of us feels it.
Today is a rare day when I question how I do what I do. Knowing there are two more broken parents in this world today weighs heavy on me.
I am going to take in the quiet of my home today...
Clear my head the best I can and remind myself that this is our life and we were meant to live it...
We will survive...
I love you to the moon and back again Lily, today & always ♥