Thursday, May 23, 2013
I'm in a funk, a really big one. A friend recently told me she misses my posts. It's been months since I have written.
I started Lily's Amazing Grace over a year ago. This was my sacred place to let go. Here I put down the 1000's of thoughts that were racing through my broken mind and overtaking my soul every minute of every day.
Lily's blog has been my outlet, my therapy, this has been the number one key in my journey of healing.
Life at home is on level 10 every minute of the day. I have two separate calendars to keep us where we need to be; between the kids sports, school activities, work in the NICU, public speaking, meetings, fundraising and Lily's blog we are stretched thin; really, really thin.
I am so torn because I don't consider my work here at Lily's blog "work," but it's bigger than I ever could have imagined. There isn't a measurement for the way I feel when I can give to another family but I am suddenly feeling like I am taking away from my own family. My children are growing up so fast right under my feet and I don't want to miss a thing.
Don't misunderstand me, I am not complaining. Lily's mission is my passion, I love hand packaging every LilyWrap, every memory box and every care package. I just wish the clock would move a little slower during the day so that time didn't slip away so fast.
I would like to imagine that I will figure things out in time. I just hope my heart leads me in the right direction without any regrets.